Why is it that we either go one of two ways in hardships – we cling to God even more and come out with a stronger relationship at the end, or we play the blame game and shut Him out? I’ve had times of doing both, alternately. One minute I can be holding on to Him for dear life and the next pushing Him away. I once heard Darlene Zschech speaking at a small worship conference and she was talking about walking through the trials, and how recently in her church there had been a young woman who had gone into labour weeks to early with her first child. Her little son fought to hold onto life for a few days, but eventually he went home to be with Jesus. Darlene talked about how this young woman and her husband had become stronger and were a huge source of encouragement to Darlene, and how, while we don’t really want to have to walk through these valley times, we want what the fruit that trials can produce when we choose to hold onto God.
About six months after hearing Darlene tell this girls story, I was at the Hillsong conference. In between sessions they were playing some of the bonus features from the latest DVD – This is Our God –and up on the screen came a young woman who started to talk about a journey God had taken her on only a week or two before they recorded the Album. She stared talking about how she had been pregnant with her first child, a little boy named Max. She had gone into labour way too early, and even though they had been praying night and day for him to live, he went home to be with God. This was in the middle of rehearsals for the album. She is one of the worship leaders at Hillsong and throughout the ordeal believed that she was called to continue to worship God, despite the journey that He was leading them down. She went to the rehearsals one day to check the roster for songs on the night – who was leading and singing what songs. One of the songs she led is the title track – “This is Our God.” The other song was “Desert Song.” Here are the lyrics:
This is my prayer in the desert
When all else within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is a God who provides.
This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame.
I will bring praise, I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice, I will declare
God is my victory and he is here.
This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on it’s way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I’ll stand
I will bring praise, I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice, I will declare
God is my victory and he is here.
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
I will bring praise, I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice, I will declare
God is my victory and he is here.
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favour and providence flow
I know I’m filled to be emptied again
The seed I’ve received I will sew.
Those are the words she had to get up on stage and lead a congregation in singing, only days after saying goodbye to her firstborn child.
I wish I was more like this woman. I wish that my first response when in a trial is to praise God, but all too often it isn’t. If I’m honest, usually my first response is to rant and rave and get angry and frustrated and tell God how unfair it all is.
Imagine living my life and walk in a place where praise and worship is my first response, my initial reaction, my natural instinct. I know that life is a journey, but I’m the kind of person who likes to be where I want to be, and skip all the stuff in the middle. I want to get to the destination as quickly as possible, but I know that it’s the journey that brings about the strength to praise God despite the circumstances.
I will bring praise!
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