Learning

This whole parenting thing is such a big change in a persons life, and even though the start we have had really couldn't have been better, there are some challenges and adjustments that have to be made, and lots of learning to be done.

Hugo has really had no trouble with feeding and has been a pretty good sleeper so far. Except for in the evenings up until about 10pm. It's been a challenge to figure out what is causing his disturbance at this time. Is he hungry? is he over tired, does he have wind/gas?

If he's over tired how do I make him sleep more during the day? Some days he just won't sleep in the afternoon. No amount of rocking, cuddling, jiggling, walking will make any difference. All part of learning him and his rhythms.

The idea of leaving the house just for a short while is quite a ridiculous one when you think about all the stuff you have to take, and all that stuff is for ONE TINY baby! Even a small trip requires half an hour of planning beforehand. I just get Dave to stop at the supermarket for me on his way home from work!

Today was the first time I have read a book since Hugo was born. I really had no idea how all consuming this tiny little love would be. Even when he's sleeping, getting through a task is broken up, simply because I check on him every 10 minutes. Simple things take twice as long as they used too.

At first I was really anxious about going out with Hugo, even with Dave coming along too. I was so worried about getting to the middle to Target and having him start crying, and by the time we could get back to the car to feed or change him, he would be hysterical. (this did actually happen on Monday, the poor little thing was so upset by the time I could get to the car to feed him. It was my most horrible parenting moment yet) I was also a little worried about dropping him when getting him in and out of his car seat. Silly I know, but still...

I'm still a little nervous when I go out with him, but I have no problem feeding him in the car, and I always have a plan of where I can feed him when I'm out and about.

I have no doubt that for the rest of my life I will be continually learning this parenting thing, and poor Hugo will forever be the one we try things out on. I just pray that when he is old enough he will know that we have done our best for him. We will make plenty of mistakes, and that breaks my heart to think about, but we will always have his best interest at heart.