The start of the new year signals the start (and often the end!) of resolutions. I tend not to make resolutions (I don't like to fail) but I find that I definitely do a lot of dreaming about the year ahead - what we might do, where we might serve, places we might go, that my house might be a lot cleaner this year than last (who am I kidding, it probably wont), that I might grow in my spiritual maturity.
This time last year Dave and I were waking up each morning and one of the first things we would say to each other was "we're going to America THIS year!!!" (This year I'm trying to figure out if I can handle eating just beans and rice for every meal so we can afford to go again)
We all carry dreams in our hearts and I wonder how many people are like me and keep most of the dreams they have hidden where they are the only ones who know about them?
There are lots of reasons I keep mine hidden, I don't think I'm good enough to do them, other people will think I'm not good enough, people will think they are silly, I will fail and never achieve them. I question whether they are the plans God has for me or if they are just my own dilusions. I question if God has big plans for me.
As much as I feel guilty for saying that it really is true. I doubt far too often that God will allow my dreams to come to fruition.
I have absolutely no trouble believeing that God would send His Son to die on the cross for me. I don't doubt the miracles He performed. I have no trouble believeing in a God that is triune even though my puny little brain can't figure out how exactly it all works. I do, however,have trouble believeing that my dreams are on His radar.
Yet one of my favourite Bible verses is Jeremiah 29:11. "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
So it would seem that when things are going my way (or have the appearance of going my way) or my plans and dreams seems to be going along nicly, I believe God. But when things arent happening the way I want them to or when I want them to, I take over. "Sorry God, I can do it better," is really what I'm saying.
As I was reading Jen Hatmaker's book A Modern Girl's Guide to Bible Study (which I can't reccomend highly enough) I came across this quote:
We must cross the threshold from faith to trust. Faith says, "I believe You can do it." Trust says, "I believe You can do it better than I can."
Honestly, I need to cross that threshold. Faith. I've got that one down. Trust? Not so much.
Our dreams can sometimes be fickle. God's plans, however, they stand the test of time. He sees the big picture I can't see. While right now I have some dreams, they might change. Some might not. Some may in fact line up perfectly with God's bigger picture plans. That is what I need to keep in mind. God see the whole story, I only see the moment I am in now. I need to hold losely to my dreams and be prepared for Him to mould them and perhaps even move them on.
And to remember that His plans are so much better then mine!